Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Conspiracy of Closed

Re-read the title, I'm not writing about when my wife goes shopping, but this about things being closed.

On Sunday, I took Kid 3 to swim practice. Since I was half-way to the University, I decided I would turn in my completed Macro-economics final exam. I drove the rest of the way there and as I got there, I realized that there was an exhibit at the Burke Museum that I would enjoy seeing. I used my iPhone to check the hours of the museum and found that I had 15 minutes before it closed. I had an hour and 15 minutes before the MBA office was supposed to close, so I decided to check out the museum.

As I walk up, one of the museum employees steps outside to dump out her coffee cup. I try the door and it is locked. She says to me, "We're closed."

"Is it 5pm," I ask, sounding surprised and verifying the hours posted on the door.

"We close early to count money," she said. And she had to knock on the door to get back inside, too.

Oh, well. I have a few more quarters before my MBA is complete, so I'll have many opportunities to go back. On to the MBA office...

...where I learn that on Sundays that the building closes at 5pm. I can't even get in.

So, I go back to Mercer Island where my son is swimming. I'll go to the library, because there is free wi-fi there (I write this post from there now).

I get to the library (can you guess where this is going) and it closes at 5pm on Sunday! So, I just park in the parking lot, hoping I can pick up their wi-fi signal, which I am not able to do. So, for about 40 minutes I play on my iPhone and download useless applications until it is time to go pick up my son.

After his swim practice, I call my wife to ask if she'd like me to pick up something for dinner. Kid 2 (a girl) answers the phone and says I should stop at Taco Bell. I know enough to ask whether or not she said that or it was really what her mom said. I hear Heather in the background say, "Get pizza."

The voice on the phone says, "Oh, yeah, get Sahara Pizza," and at this point, I ask to speak to her mom.

The voice changes, altogether too quick, "Yes?" Wait, I recognize that voice. Its not my wife's voice, its the Kid 2 impression of mom voice.

The disguise seen through, she dutifully passes the phone on to my wife. She confirms that I should get Papa Murphy's pizza, as there are always coupons in my messenger bag.

My son and I drive up and go through my bag and find the coupons. Its raining and we wonder if we should just call it in and not leave the car. But we know we'll have to wait anyway, so I propose that we go hang out at Safeway because there is free wi-fi there.

Kid1 proposes that we go to the REI right next door, and I won't pass that up. We go order our pizza and guess what - REI was closed!

Luckily, Papa Murphy's didn't run out of crusts (that has happened to me before) and so we were able to get our pizza and go home.

It was just a giant conspiracy!

And if you are wondering, I did get my exam turned in. I made a special trip to the University, but had to adjust my plans because on Monday, I got an email that said the MBA office was closing an hour early because it was finals week! The conspiracy continues!


Unknown said...

Sweetheart, we live in a state that sells alcohol in special stores close don Sunday and rolls up their sidewalks at dusk. Deal with it. Where once we lived in California, land of Costco sized rum at half the price as Washington to be purchased any freakin' time we wanted, people who drive 70 mph in the slow lane and actually use the car pool lane to GO FASTER and there was always a store open, we now live in a state that has a trade off of good schools, clean air, beautiful vista, and ....wait for it...your favorite that you never shut up about...SNOW! Trade-offs.

And it's a good thing REI was closed. And wTF did that first sentence mean? Seriously.

Beau said...

Ahh, the first line: Closed when pronounced sounds like Clothes.

Many husbands complain about their wives shopping habits. I wanted to be clear that that is not the subject of this post, as that is not an issue in our relationship. You buy hott shoes and I know that I am an enabler when it comes you your cool shoes!

love you!